


we start believing now that we can be who we are

by magnusragnor



Series: malec high school sweethearts au [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: AU, First Kiss, Fluff, High School AU, Human AU, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, it's just cute y'all what else can i say
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-25 09:23:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10761354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magnusragnor/pseuds/magnusragnor
Summary: Alec never meant to actually start crushing on Magnus. Magnus was brave and beautiful and didn’t care what people said about him. He was so unapologetically himself despite how much shit he’d been through with bullies, and Alec admired him, he really did. But he never meant to actuallylikelike him.





	we start believing now that we can be who we are

**Author's Note:**

> HI FRIENDS so this is my first fic in the shadowhunters fandom (confetti emoji) this is a little ficlet to preface charley's theater au which is cute as fuck, btw. so be sure to read that after this!!
> 
> also a huge thanks to my beta and partner in crime, [charley](http://lightwoodlesbians.tumblr.com) who inspires me to write more and better and never tells me to shut up when i'm leaving her messages full of head canons and plot ideas. truly my #1 bae. 
> 
> title is a grease lyric (you'll understand if you stick around for charlotte's fic in this series xoxoxo)

It was stupid. It was so _so_ stupid. 

But it had been his _first kiss_. It couldn’t have been _that_ stupid, right? 

Alec stared dumbly at his closed locker, his left hand holding the small piece of paper in a strong fist. He blinked a few times, breathing through his nose, before opening his locker quickly. He scanned the contents, grabbed his Physics and U.S. History textbooks, and then slammed the door shut, fumbling a little with the lock. 

The events of last night replayed in his head like a cassette on loop, and it made Alec’s knees weak.

Magnus and Alec had been friends for a little while now, and it had been innocent at first. Maybe Magnus was nice, and smelled like a musky cologne, and maybe his smile made Alec’s heart sing, but still -- it was totally innocent. 

Alec never meant to actually start crushing on Magnus. Magnus was brave and beautiful and didn’t care what people said about him. He was so unapologetically himself despite how much shit he’d been through with bullies, and Alec admired him, he really did. But he never meant to actually _like_ like him. 

Granted, Alec was never meant to like boys in general. His parents were, well, old-fashioned, and that was never an option for him. His future had been carved out. Graduate high school, get into NYU for business, get an M.B.A., find a wife, have a kid, and run the family business. 

Having his life planned out was tough. In middle school, Alec was grateful, because it meant he didn’t have to stress too much about choosing his career. However, after a few years, he’d grieved the fact that he never got a choice in the first place.

And, well, the gay thing? Yeah, no. Forget it. His mother would flip. 

But then there was Magnus, who was patient and sweet and had small private smiles just for Alec. Magnus, who let Alec intertwine their fingers when he was brave enough and didn’t say anything when Alec dropped his hand as soon as someone saw them. Not being with Magnus made his heart feel heavy and his throat tight, because Magnus made him want to be brave. 

He’d come out to Izzy and Jace two weeks ago. They hugged him and smiled, and Jace, the blunt one of the group, had said, “I knew the looks you kept giving Magnus weren’t totally platonic!” After that, Alec felt like he could breathe, even just a little. 

And then, yesterday. Yesterday had been just a casual hang out. Movie night at Magnus’ house, where Magnus’ mother made them some delicious soup and Magnus’ room held an inviting warmth that Alec had never known from his own. Alec’s room was dimly lit and plain. It was just somewhere he slept. Magnus’ room was somewhere he felt at home. 

They had decided to watch _Dead Poet’s Society_ , Alec’s favorite movie, and as Alec blabbered throughout the whole thing about hidden meanings and classic poetry and characterization, he noticed how Magnus had moved closer, now barely a few inches from Alec’s face. 

Magnus hesitated, his brow furrowed as he watched Alec’s mouth before meeting his eyes. Alec swallowed around the dry lump in his throat, searching Magnus’ eyes and trying to find courage in them. Magnus just watched him, his gaze curious and questioning, letting Alec know that he still had the final call. 

Alec let himself drown in the brown of Magnus’ eyes before leaning over to close the distance between their lips for the first time. 

It wasn’t practiced or heavy, but it was soft and lovely and sweet, just like everything Magnus and Alec and everything between them. 

Alec had left not long after that, finding it hard to ignore how hot his cheeks felt and how bright Magnus’ eyes were. When they parted at the door Magnus took Alec’s hand gently and squeezed it once, offering him a small and shy smile, and promising to see Alec after school the next day. 

And Alec, well. Alec stayed up almost all night, his mind spinning with the memory of Magnus’ lips pressed against his, and Alec wanted to shout it from the rooftops. He had kissed Magnus Bane. Alec Lightwood, the boy with the floppy hair and dangling limbs had managed to be gifted a kiss by the enchanting Magnus Bane. 

Alec wanted to write poetry about Magnus, and how it felt to finally let himself want. 

So he did. 

Alec wrote and rewrote until his hand cramped and he could see the sun coming up on the horizon. He deemed one poem as the winner of the night, and got the crazy idea to share it with Magnus. Bare his heart on one small piece of paper.

Now, watching Magnus arrive to his locker with Raphael, chatting animatedly, Alec suddenly let doubt poison his mind. 

What if Magnus laughed? 

What if he thought Alec’s poems were too childish, or too silly? 

What if Magnus didn’t want to kiss him again? 

Alec kept a hand on his locker, watching Magnus wave to Raphael as the latter made his way down the hall, leaving Magnus alone, rummaging through his locker to find something. 

This was his chance. Alec could do it. Just give Magnus the poem and ask if their after school plans were still on. No biggie. It was Magnus, and he was one of Alec’s best friends. It was casual. And Alec was cool, calm, and collected. 

The bell rung loudly, reminding Alec that he had a class to go to as he started slowly walking towards Magnus, avoiding the large mass of people rushing to be on time. 

With Magnus suddenly in such close proximity, Alec suddenly panicked, the boldness from a moment ago gone. Magnus turned swiftly after checking that his hair was in place before spotting Alec and stopping, a small smile tugging on the corner of his lips - _those lips, the lips Alec had kissed last night._

Alec came to a stop, noticing the empty halls around them and the playful twinkle in Magnus’ eyes as he took a step closer. Magnus shifted his single AP Chemistry textbook into his other hand, surveying Alec for a second. As Magnus’ mouth opened, about to say something, Alec abruptly shoved the small piece of paper he had been gripping into Magnus’ unoccupied hand. Before Magnus had a chance to respond or react, Alec leaned forward, brushing his lips against Magnus’ cheek. 

Alec pulled away just as fast, feeling out of place with such displays of affection. He was sure he was blushing down his neck due to his embarrassing and uncoordinated moment. 

But it had been spontaneous, and so unlike Alec that he gave himself a moment to feel satisfied at the warm surprise in Magnus’ eyes.

“See you after ninth,” Alec said quickly, nodding and smiling softly at Magnus before hurrying to his Physics class, happiness flooding his chest. He wanted to keep that warm surprise in Magnus’ eyes for as long as he could. Maybe he’d ask Magnus later if he liked the poem. Maybe, if Magnus said yes, Alec would write more of them, just to make Magnus happy. 

His stomach flipped pleasantly as he thought about a future with _Magnus._

And if Alec smiled all the way through first period, doodling little hearts onto the corners of his notebook, well, that was between him and his pen.

**Author's Note:**

> come chat w me on [tumblr](http://magnusragnor.tumblr.com)!!


End file.
